Sunday, December 30, 2007

chaotic unison

Now when I came here, one thing was definite - it is going to be a weird experience. Something that kept on popping up all throughout was the sound of my doubt. A sort of unison dawned upon me as there were images that went, stopped and passed by. I asked if there are more questions now than the answers. Then, I asked if there was anything I could make sense of. Hmm, some and yeah some. I am here in an insane theatre, with a lust to propagate my ideas through the universe and trap minds as I fly. Why do I then hear voices that laugh all along the highway?
There is not just one thing that has happened since I came here; there is not just one thing that has happened since I came here. I have discovered that the longer I am suspended in a state of discord with the real world, with nothing to affect my kind of life with its blandishments and things alike, the more I tend to oscillate between uneven loops. There is everything I can see, there is everything that I can not hold onto. So is it alright if I keep on floating? No comes the answer as I have to figure out things for a "better life" as I am more educated than I could have thought to be. And the eyes pop out when I express my wish to continue the academic escapades.
Yes, the primary intent was that of an escapade. The trouble began when I embraced and started liking it more with every day. Now where do I go with this chaotic unison in my head?

Saturday, December 01, 2007

the library

It is one of the wonderlands I am quite happy to be lost in as Alice. I just enter a huge reservoir of thoughts that finally had the chance to be published, and what awaits me is a dungeon of ideas that I would love to embrace.
So, I touch them from the top to the bottom shelf. They always seem to be undisturbed by my presence and yet smell good when I finally frolic with them in my hand. Is that not cool?
But that is not what amazes me! Cobain has said it so many times that he needs peace of mind to write. Or to give shapes to his ideas. That is one of the reasons I love Cobain; he thinks of the world there and his world as there. These writers had their existence removed from the social circle and yet wrote pivotal pieces about that very sphere they had abstained from. But they, in their own respective spheres, were so correct! Adorno has his critics and so does Jameson; but for every critic, there is an admirer. And all I hope is that the ratio of admirer increases exponentially.
Library... Oh what a place. I feel so... It is like you are uncle scrooge from duck tales who jumps into a pool of money and then swims with an ease that is reflective of a certain inexplicable passion. Yeah, thats me. And their plays the dream of my retirement - a big hall with my DVDs, vinyls, CDs, spools, tapes, fables, hardbounds and softbounds etc.
That is a kind of eros for me! ummm... Yeah I would love to leave it at that...