Thursday, December 21, 2006
I am outty! Outty my wits, outty my sensibility, i cant tell red from white, possibly canadian from the awkwardly feminine and grumbles from groans.
Something is definitely wrong, because it not happening right. Wrong! Nothing is happening at all. At times, I end up thinking that it doesn't even matter. It is a figment of my stomach's grumbles. But no, it is troubling.
Maybe the very thought of it. Every time i sit down to finally finish the piece, the ideas enter the mind and they are lost. Lost to the stupid ideas my people end up bringing out.
So these happy go lucky ideas enter my realm and spoil it. I do pay attention to all of it, the noise and the perpetual whinings. But then I lose it.
I am constantly in touch with the dictionary and thesaurus thinking that a better choice of words would heighten the writing and, eventually, the reading experience. But before i put the pen down i throw it wondering IS IT REALLY WORTH IT?
It pisses me off to learn that the world doesnt want real articles; they want crap every damn time and in a new bottle. Or a new pot!
The lonesome poet wanders through the corridors of hollow writing paradigms. "We dont want reality, are you crazy, who in the world do you think would be crazy enough to buy that."
But I aint fabricating, I m producing facts and stories the way they are.
You ask me to do a comprehensive story on theatre because you love delhi. But you dont love theatre. The thought of being in something that seems possibly elite is the motivation. Not the fact that as a powerful tool, theatre has lost it completely. Do we even remember that there was a Safdar Hashmi once?
You have got to be kidding me moonstruck, we dont want to hear about him. Tell us more about Barry John, of the names and THE NAMES. That is all that matters.
Remember? happy go lucky is the word!?!
Maniac, be moonstruck as thats what you are good at!
Fine, at least I wont have any regrets. But then I have got to be alive, and kicking. And for that I need money, who can survive on food for thought without eating some. What am I doing? I exemplify few lines of the great Faiz.
vo log bahut Khush_qismat the
jo ishq ko kaam samajhate the
yaa kaam se aashiqii karate the
ham jiite jii masaruuf rahe
kuchh ishq kiyaa kuchh kaam kiyaa
kaam ishq ke aade aataa rahaa
aur ishq se kaam ulajhataa rahaa
phir aaKhir tang aakar ham ne
donon ko adhuuraa chhod diyaaAnd the moonstruck, after a long time, remains just confused. I am just so confused!