Monday, August 21, 2006

we're back

well well well
isnt this one happy moment for me now? you bet, it so is! After a week long battle, it seems the warring parties have finally signed the peace accord with a lot of kisses and hugs.
I had actually given up all the hope to get back with Aditi. The three people who knew about it Kris, Reet and Ashi had all expressed their sadness over the same issue. I love these people man. The best thing about a fight between two people who are in love with each other is that no one is the winner or loser. There is no such classification at all. And why would there be?
Finally on Wednesday when we met, there was a hint that it might work.
Now let me define that crucial moment.
So, i wrapped up my work fast, had a word with Ashi. She said that it is not over so dont the two of you say it. Kris had called up in the evening asking me why i did not tell him about this big a fight. I mean it was all over, it seemed so true at that manner that it is not even funny. I asked my boss to give me the next day off so that i can spend the day with her even if it means the last day for both of us.
After driving with a plethora of thoughts in my head as to what my future holds for me after Aditi, I was too zonged when i reached IIT. She had asked me not to pick her up and meet her at coffee corner. THWACK!!! That was the first blow. Then after waiting impatiently for say fifteen minutes, it seemed like an hour, i saw her shadow with a poly pack in her hand. THWACK 2!!!
Jesus, she had got all my stuff!
Hmmm, okie, she handed me over the bag as if it was some kind of excess baggage for her. And the began, a fiery interlude. I was still calm, coz if i also were to be shouting she won't hear me at all. Which is why i was there, to sort out things. There she was, shouting and me also shouting in slightly less volume. The thing with my cutie Aditi is, when she is angry 95 per cent of what she utters is coming from somewhere that she is not aware of. This means, none of it is true and should be ignored. She on the curb, and i on the road did not have any strength left to fight. When she took out her wallet to pay me for the roses I had sent on our 6 month anniversary, hee hee mills and boon stuff naa but i love it, i was in tears.
THWACCCCCCCKKKKKK!!!!!! This one was loud and i just could not control it. So i sat down like an old man, crying very silently. I got up, left and sat at one of our favourite hot spots. Called up ashi was sobbing, messaged Kris was sobbing, messaged reeeti was sobbing. After ten minutes i decided i should leave and got up.
Suddenly i heard a troubled voice saying 'STOP'. There she stood crying like a baby who had just lost her favourite toy. I had to give her a tight hug. ANd then i cried for a brief moment, while she just cried cried and cried. I so love this moment that it is difficult for me to define it. We both know we are so much in love with each other. and no matter what happens, we ensure that feeling doesnt diminish by even an iota.
I had told Ashi that i dont want an apology, if she just walks upto me and i have the chance to give her a tight hug, that would be all. No more troubles.
It is so amazing to be in love, that i wish this lasts forever. With Aditi, i am so much attached to her, like a child at times, the fondness keeps growing day after day. Though it has been four days since this all happened, it wil be etched in our hearts forever. For we have grown individually and together. No hard feelings at all, we have just got closer and real close to each other.
To think this all has happened in just six months is phenomenal.
All's well that ends well.
I love Aditi soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much.
And i love Kris and Ashi too man.
I'm just floating on a cloud.
Right now not moonstruck but in a trance for sure...

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Blah....

My fortune for today in Orkut: You are very expressive and positive in words, act and feeling.

Now, that is something more disturbing than what is happening since the past three days. I have broken up with Aditi, or she has broken up with me. As per her, things have been screwed to a point of no return. Now she wants to return all of my stuff - madagascar soft toy, books, the see saw toy, i dont know what stuff and yeah even my birds. They are no longer my birds, since i had gifted them to her long time back.
It is painful to listen all of this. Not that i am admonishing her over here but just that if it had to end why did it even start? People make umpteen efforts to make everything a reality and so have the two of us. But now it seems that all of it was a dream that could never be realised.
Now the torturous confusion. Even after all that she has said, including choicest of expletives, and all of my mistakes, i still have the hope burning that it will turn out to be good. I have been, and will always be, a foolish romantic. Which is why after the fiasco with Prajakta, I can never let go off the word love.
Aditi is a strange woman in my life. I can not say that she was, coz even if we do end it all, in this murderous manner, i will continue to love her. There have been a lot of changes, mostly good, for which i will always credit her. I admire her as much as I love her. I respect her as much as she used to respect me. And though the two of us might not even see each other for i dont know how long, these feelings for her will never die.
Reason - very honestly this has been one woman i have been in love with, kinda head over heels. Alliances have a funny thing. If you put too much efforts, it turns out you have added a lot of sugar. Result is that it freezes one day and stinks. The other way or less efforts mean that it is arid. So what does one do!?!
I dont have much to say Inquisitor, but the fact that end marks a beginning that I am scared of. Have always been, maybe i would go back to the child in one of the precious posts. That is a good situation for that has hope.
The other, the very thought is intimidating for tomorrow has not come. I just hope i dont turn out to be one of those alter egos that i have created and scared of.
Lastly, it is just that relation is over, the feelings are there. They would be there. As far as the future is concerned, I can only hope, with tears filling my eyes...........

Busted.... but by a wellwisher

Last post had mentioned with a sigh, the absence of anyone reading my blog. i was taken aback today when i entered office that one of my colleagues (who i am fond of, for she was the first one to compliment about) remarked how she had left a comment on my blog.
Now she has a very peculiar relationship with me. One thing i like about her is her professionalism amidst cows and bulls. Yet she is soft spoken. And no matter what i hear from her, and it is because i never give my work on time to her, i just like hearing that, somehow.
And I share a nice working rapport with her. So, when this happened, i was happy to hear that.
Now, i was wondering what made me write that and the entire gamut of events that has been taking its toll on me for the past so many weeks.
Part of it was mentioned in the previous post, but most of it is stil left. Now these musings, rantings etc etc are nothing more than the mind talking endlessly, mostly without direction.
I lack patience, big time. Especially when it comes to words like success, ambition, fame et al.
I went back to my words, and discovered that no matter how much time it took for these people to get where they are, it is an achievement.
For I am one individual and they too are in their own right. And for them the definitions that are relevant to me might be kiddish, or totally impertinent to them.
My father too is a man who has struggled for over so many years. and where he is right now that , according to me, falls short of an achievement. But then, I have realised what a noble soul he is. Even if he wants to he can not think or speak evil of the people because of whom he has suffered so much. Cowardice is one word, submissive is another, but for him that is his biggest virtue.
It is actually quite interesting - discovering people.
Life too.
And i take that as a part of me growing up. Right now, I just look at the moon and go blind. It is shining so amazing these days.
Like always
Moonstruck